My addiction
by pinkpigeontowa
Summary: Rated M just to be on the safe side. Haru is on drug. Momiji is the only cure to Haru's addiction. HaruXM'iji YAOI!
1. Chapter 1

THIS IS DEDICATED TO KRAD-KUN AS SHE HELPED ME WITH THE IDEAS!! THANK YOU KRAD-KUN!! *glomp*

Ok I have written a lot of M'ijiXHaru fanfics where M'iji get beaten/broken legs/suicidal and I thought 'Hey! Why don't I swap it round a bit?' So that's what I've done!! Instead of having Haru come to M'iji's rescue it's going to my M'iji coming to Haru's rescue!!! A quick warning… there may be M in this but I can't write M so I may miss it out and just imply that there was M… If I do that and some people want the M stuff I will post up another version with M in it.

So… shall I just get on with it… Yeah that's probably best… Here ya go!!!!

One last thing!!!

"speech"

'thought'

Okay that's all!!

*****

My addiction

Chapter one

'Just one more…' Haru thought desperately, raising the needle to his arm with a shaking hand. His eyes where round and wild as the effects of the previous drugs, the evidence of which were littering the floor around the troubled teen, began to kick in. He slid the cap off of the needle and in one swift movement plunged it into his arm and emptied the liquid. His eyes fell closed in pleasure and all thoughts of a certain blonde fled his mind.

To tell the truth, the reason that Haru was in the state he was in was because he was in deeply and irrevocably in love. He was in love with his best friend, his lifelong companion, his Momiji. Or rather, he wanted the small blond boy to be his but he knew it would never be so. M'iji would never, ever, in a million years return the older teen's feelings and Haru had resorted to drugs to take his mind off of how pathetic his life really was.

He let the needle fall from his hand and land with a clatter with the rest as his head fell back to lean against the cold brick wall of the alley where he sat.

*****

"Good night everyone!"

Momiji waved as he said goodbye to his co workers and headed for the exit. Once outside he brought his scarf up to cover his nose and buried his hands deep in his pocket, his smile fading. His smile was merely for show, to hide his inner feelings. His brain was numb and his heart ached from being so close to the one he loved yet at the same time so far. His heart longed for Haru's just as he longed for the older male. But he knew it could never be. Haru was single yes… but he was not gay and Momiji knew one like Haru would never be gay.

Instead Momiji kept his feelings locked inside his slowly breaking heart and kept his smile on his face to mask his true feelings. He listened intently to Haru going on about his latest girlfriend, always wishing, begging that Haru would look him in the eye and see how he really felt.

Momiji sighed and stopped to tie his shoe lace up. As he bent down, he froze and his face crinkled in discussed. A used needle lay by his foot and he kicked it hard back into the alleyway.

"Sick bastards really need to learn to clean up after them." Momiji muttered disgustedly.

"M-M'iji…?" A hoarse voice asked from the depth of the alley, causing Momiji to jump out of his skin before freezing. He knew that voice only too well. "I-Is that you M-M'iji?"

"Haru?" Was the smaller male's whispered reply as he took a step into the alley, then another and another until he saw his lifelong friends, slumped against the walls, staring up at him with wide, sorrowful eyes. Momiji began to panic when he saw the state Haru was in and the needles surrounding him. Quickly he dropped to his knees beside the older male and rested a shaking hand on his shoulder. "Haru what happened? Who did this to you?"

Haru could feel a relax sensation of drifting out of consciousness wash over him and had to concentrate on what his friend was saying. "No one did this to me M'iji…" The ox said in a slurred voice, "I did this to me!"

Momiji's face fell, his voice interrupted by sobs. "H-Haru… W-Why??"

But at that moment, Haru head lolled forward, his chin hitting his chest and he slumped sideways onto Momiji as he passed out.

*****

"God Haru… you could… do with… losing a… few stone…" Momiji groaned and he dragged his unconscious friend back to his room at the Sohma estate. The older male was draped over the small teen's shoulders and Momiji sagged under Haru's weight. The two of them had taken the long way home, through all the back streets and alleyways so they weren't seen… or so Momiji though. Along the way Momiji passed other drug takers and drunk but the rabbit tried to steer clear of the worst looking.

They made it back to the Sohma estate with little trouble. Haru was still completely out of it and Momiji was beginning to get tired. As Momiji dragged his friend down the hallway to the ox's apartment, he failed to hear the footsteps coming round the corner behind him. The footsteps stopped and the owner of said footsteps gazed with jealous and angry eyes at HIS ox and HIS rabbit together. Akito watched until the pair were out of sight before growling, turning and storming back to his own room.

*****

Momiji was panting by the time he managed to fish the keys out of Haru's pocket, open the door and drag the semi-conscious male into the bed room.

"There you go," Momiji groaned as he dumped Haru onto the bed. As he did so, an arm wrapped around his waist and pulled him down too. "HARU!!"

A nose nuzzled the rabbit's golden locks. "Sorry little bunny… your Haru's gone…"

Momiji froze. His heart rate quicken and he began shaking violently as one of the ox's hands work its way down to the front of Momiji's jeans. "B-Black… H-Haru…"

The ox smirked and nibbled on the smaller boy's ear. "Got it in one bunny…" Black Haru's hand unbuttoned the rabbit's trousers and slipped his hand down them.

If this had been normal Haru, the Haru that Momiji knew and loved he may have let him continued… but not black Haru.

"LET ME GO!!" Momiji yelled and Haru received a vicious elbow to the ribs, causing him to release his grip on Momiji.

The rabbit dived from the bed and was half way out of the apartment when White Haru regained control.

"M'iji!! M'iji I'm …."

"NO!!!!!!!" Momiji screamed in reply, slamming the door behind him.


	2. Chapter 2

Heya guys!!! Me again!!! Hope you all liked that last chappy and thanks for reading it in the first place. If you haven't read the first chap I suggest you do otherwise this one will make no scene…

My addiction

Chapter two

*Two days later*

Neither Haru nor Momiji had been to see the other since Black Haru had taken over the ox's body. Haru was killing himself inside for what he had done to his best friend. Any chance of him ever being with Momiji, of M'iji ever loving him back, had gone. Haru had ruined his chances, ruined their friendship, lost Momiji's trust and he hated himself for it.

His apartment was a mess, his head was a mess, his life was a mess and all thanks to one thing. The syringe in Haru's hand, the needle which was pressed against the skin of his other arm. He wanted to forget, needed to get away from this, needed to forget about what he had done to Momiji.

But he couldn't do it. He couldn't inject the drug into himself and forget. It was as if something was stopping him. It was as if he was waiting for something to happen

*****

Momiji felt bad for not going to see Haru these past few days but it had taken him a while to get over what Black Haru had done to him. Even now as he stopped in front of the ox's door and searched his pockets for the key, he was still thinking about that night.

On finding the key, Momiji unlocked the door and pushed it open, his mouth falling open and body freezing at what he saw. Haru. Sat on the sofa before him. Needle pressed against the vein on the inside of his arm. Haru's wide, tear filled eyes met his own and the older boy froze, needle dropping from his hand. Momiji could feel the anger building inside of himself as his eyes darkened. He grabbed the closest thing to him, a picture of the two of them when they were younger, and threw it at Haru, hitting him square in the shoulder. Haru gave a fry of pain and watched with shocked eyes as the normally calm and gentle male threw more objects at him, each one hitting a part of his body. Along with the objects came the rabbit's screams of rage.

"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?!?! HARU, THIS ISN'T YOU WHAY ARE YOU DOING THIS?! STOP IT HARU YOU'RE SCARING ME!!! WHAT'S HAPPENED TO YOU?! YOU KNOW DRUGS ARE WRONG!!!"

By the time Momiji run out of things to throw, Haru was curled up in a protective ball, hands covering his head. The rabbit may have run out of ammunition but the shouts continued.

"I DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE ANYMORE HARU!! THOSE THINGS ARE CHANGING YOU AND IT'S NOT GOOD!! YOU NEED TO STOP THISS!! YOU NEED TO…"

"CALM DOWN!!!" Haru was fed up of being shouted at. He watched as Momiji took a few deep breaths to try and calm himself down but his hands were still fisted by his sides and the anger was still burning in his eyes. This anger faltered when the younger male heard the ox's voice which was pain filled and broke.

"M-M'iji…" Haru stuttered, on the verge of tears, "I-I need help…"

- - - - - - -

Sorry guys this is only a short chapter but I promise that the next one will be better!!


	3. Chapter 3

My Addiction

Chapter Three

Akito was furious. Ever since he had seen Momiji and Haru sneaking in a few nights ago he had been fuming. Not only about the fact that the pair were together but also because of the needle that had fallen out of one of their pockets, telling the God just what they had been up to.

"THEY BELONG TO ME, NOT EACH OTHER!!! WHAT WERE THEY THINKING GETTING TOGETHER BEHIND MY BACK?!? AND DRUGS?!? DO THEY WANT TO DIE?!? IF THE DO THEN I WILL BE THE ONE TO DO IT!!!"

*****

*elsewhere*

Momiji stood over the hot cooker thinking, as he had been since Haru's confession, about what he could do to help his friend. He refused to take Haru to a councillor or physiatrist. Haru wasn't mentally troubled just… confused. Momiji longed to know what was wrong with his friend, what was causing him to behave how he was. The rabbit had been worried that it was something he had done wrong but couldn't remember what.

'What Haru really needs,' Momiji thought as he plated their dinner up and carried it over to where Haru was sat at the table, 'Is to get away from here for a few days to take his mind off of things. Maybe I'll take him to the hot springs for a week or two.'

"It looks lovely, M'iji" Haru complimented as the rabbit set the plates down on the table and took the seat opposite.

"T-thank you Haru," Momiji stuttered, trying to control the blush that was forming on his cheeks. He watched in amazement as Haru began shovelling folks full of spaghetti and meat into his mouth.

Resembling a hamster, Haru looked up to find the younger male gawping at him. An embarrassed blush formed on the ox's cheeks and he lowered his head, swallowing his huge mouthful before muttering, "S-sorry M'iji… I haven't had a decent meal in ages." Haru gazed longingly at his empty plate and Momiji pushed the rest of his food towards his friend. Ever since he had found out about Haru his appetite had gone. Haru smiled in appreciation before going back to shovelling food down his throat. Momiji smiled in amusement as he watched his best friend and pretended that things had gone back to normal. But his smile soon faded as his mind wandered back to what he had been thinking about earlier. He had tried for so long to keep quiet, especially now that Haru seemed to be getting better, but curiosity was beginning to get the better of the young rabbit.

"Haru… Why are you taking drugs? What's happened?"

Haru froze. The folk dropped from his hand and his gaze fell to the floor.

'Make something up!' He told himself but nothing believable came to his mind and so much time had passed that Momiji wouldn't believe him anyway. Momiji continued to stare at the older male. He knew, before the words had even left his mouth he wasn't going to get an answer. Sighing, Momiji continued. "What you really need Haru is something to take your mind off of things, something that'll make you forget about the drugs."

"It's not as easy as that, M'iji" Haru muttered, looking up from his plate and into his best friend's concerned eyes. "Drugs aren't that easy to just forget about. People normally get addicted to something else when they are trying to get off of drugs."

There was a long silence between the pair as each gazed at the wooden table, both lost in their own thought.

'Get addicted to something else…'

An idea was forming in the younger males mind as he thought more and more about what the ox had said. 'It could work… It would mean I get to spend more time with him…' A slight blush appeared on Momiji's pale cheeks, 'B-But… What if he gets high o-or turns black? What would he do to me? Would it be like last time?'

Momiji looked up to see the depressed and desperate look on the ox's dace and knew that he didn't care what happened to him as long as Haru, his best friend, his only love was happy. Momiji got to his feet, the creak of his chair moving back awakening Haru from his thoughts. The golden haired male reached over the table, pushing things out of his way. He placed his hands upon the ox's and leant in close so that their faces were only inches apart. Haru could feel Momiji's warm breath on his face as his own became low and raspy. His heart was hammering in his chest as what he had wished for was finally coming true.

Momiji closed the few centimetres between them, pressing his soft lips to Haru's, tasting the tomato sauce from their dinner briefly before pulling away. Once Haru's brain had caught up with what was going on he turned to gaze back up into Momiji's loving eyes. He opened his mouth to speak but the rabbit pressed a slim finger to his still burning lips.

"Let me be your drug Haru."


	4. Chapter 4

My Addiction

Chapter Four

Momiji awoke the next morning to a dull ache in his lower back and backside. He was under the soft, warm covers of Haru's bed and could feel the ox's body pressed flush against his own but the young rabbit felt completely the opposite. He felt used. He HAD been used. Haru was using him as a replacement for his drugs.

Yet, Momiji didn't mind. He was being useful, helping his best friend, his secret crush overcome a massive problem. Maybe something would come out of this…

Momiji was beginning to feel smothered, he couldn't breathe, he needed to get away. As quietly and carefully as he could, Momiji slipped out of bed and dressed, trying not to wake Haru. When he was done he crept across the room, scooping his shoes up along that way and slowly opened the door. He turned back to take one last look at the boy in the bed, his heart wrenching and tears forming in his eyes, before he turned and ran, letting the door close behind him.

*****

Haru rolled over, groaning as the sunlight streamed through a gap in the curtains. He tightened his grip on Momiji, burying his nose in the smaller boy's golden locks…

The ox's eyes flew open and he shot up, gazing down in the bed next to him where the rabbit should be. But the space was empty and cold, telling him Momiji had been gone for a long time.

Haru brought his legs up to his chest and buried his face in his knees. He could tell things had changed between himself and Momiji, changed for the worse and he hated himself for it.

Needing to take his mind off of things, Haru threw the covers away from himself and climbed out of bed. Shaking with the need to get high, he stumbled into the living room, fell to his knees and shoved the sofa out of the way, wincing at the squeaking sound it made on the wooden floor. Not caring about the pain or the fact that they were red raw and bleeding by the end of it, the desperate ox forced his fingers into the small gap between and couple of loose boards and hauled them up, throwing them aside where they landed heavily and noisily a few feet away. Haru plunged his hand into the gap beneath and felt around until he found the carrier bag containing his drugs. He pulled them out and threw himself onto the sofa, desperately ripping through the plastic and emptying the content into his lap.

'Maybe… maybe…' Haru's scrambled mind managed to put together as he picked up a full syringe and took the cap off. With a badly shaking hand he pressed the needle to the pulsing vein on the inside of his arm. 'Maybe if I do this M'iji will come back.'

He knew this was unlikelt, knew that after what he had done the chance of his best friend, his only true friend, the one he loved more than anything… the chance of Momiji ever coming near him again were close to zero…

But it was worth a try.

BANG!!

The front door was blown open with such force it hit the wall, splintering and denting. Haru jumped his hand slipping and his precious drug squirting all over the sofa. His desperately wide eyes shot to the door and became impossibly wider. He froze, dropping the empty syringe and began to shake again, uncontrollably and with pure fear this time.

Standing in the doorway, a dark shadowy figure against the bright morning light was Akito.

* * *

Yeah it's another short chapter.... sorry

To make it up to you i'll put the next chapter up in 1 week instead of 2


	5. Chapter 5

My Addiction

Chapter five

Haru's brain was having a frenzy.

'M'iji told him! M'iji told Akito what I…no… M'iji wouldn't do that… Would he? Then why? Why is Akito here?'

Akito took a step into the apartment and closed the ruined door behind him. He looked straight into the ox's terrified eyes and a menacing smile formed on his face.

"Hello Hatsuharu."

When the God said his name Haru nearly wet himself. Akito seemed so calm but the teen knew his patient was wearing thin, his eyes were darkening and his hands had fisted at his sides. All of a sudden Akito snapped and it was that night all over again, the night when Momiji had walked in on him drug taking. Haru found objects being thrown at him again, the only difference this time was the God's perfect aim.

After mere minutes of the Akito being there, Haru and his living room was a mess. Half of the ox's belongings lay broken around him where they had been thrown. Haru's arms were covered in cuts and big purple bruises where he had tried to protect his face. It had done little good. Haru's head throbbed from where he had been hit by a hardback book and blood was leaking from a cut on his cheek where the glass from a picture frame had caught him.

Akito was still seething in the door way, an umbrella clutched in one hand. He slowly made his way towards Haru, raising the weapon as he went, the evil glint still shining in his eyes. The teen watched, terrified as Akito stopped mere feet away.

"I'm going to teach you a lesson for thinking you could do such a thing. If you thought this was bad… this is only the beginning. You are my zodiac. MINE!!"

*****

As soon as Momiji had gotten back to his room that morning he had stripped, showered re-dressed in clean clothes after binning the ones he had been wearing the night before, collapsed onto his bed and burst into tears. This wasn't what he wanted, what he thought would have happened when he said he would help Haru. He wanted to be there for the ox, to take his mind off of things, but not like… _THIS. _He was an idiot for thinking anything could come from this. Momiji had lost a lot that night, his virginity being one of them. He hurt all over and no matter how hard he scrubbed himself, he still felt dirty.

Turning his face into his pillow, Momiji screamed, all his pent up emotion coming out in one solitary cry. He was shaking by the end of it but felt somewhat better.

Finally deciding to pull himself together the young rabbit stood and made his way over to a full length window that looked out into a small courtyard and then to Haru's apartment. Red eyed and tear stained; the golden haired boy leant forward, resting his forehead against the cool glass, taking long, deep breaths to calm himself.

Suddenly his head snapped up as he saw a sight that made his blood run cold. Akito was crossing the courtyard, his pace slow but purposeful. He stopped in front of the ox's door and waited, listening. After a few moments the God pushed on the door with such force it hit the inside wall, banging loudly and causing the rabbit to jump in shock. Akito disappeared inside and Momiji ran from the room.

*****

'Help' was all Haru could think. 'Someone, anyone. Help.'

The ox was now on the floor, backing into a corner. The umbrella lay bent and broken by the sofa. Akito had stopped in his beatings to throw away one weapon and reveal another. The God was now towering above Haru, staring lovingly at the long, shining blade he held in one hand, stroking it, like one would a cat, with the other.

Two pairs of eyes met and Haru could see that the man before him had finally lost it.

"Ah Haru," the God sighed, gripping the handle tightly in one hand and taking a step towards the teen, who tried to shuffle back into the corner, only to be met by solid wall. "If only you had been good. If only you hadn't thought you could disobey me and steal my rabbit…"

'How the hell does he know about M'iji?!?!"

"Then none of this would have ha…"

"STOP!!!"

Once again the front door found itself hitting the inside wall, shattering and hanging limply off of a hinge. Both men turned towards the door where Momiji stood, red faced and breathless. Haru couldn't help but feel a jolt of happiness at the sight of the young rabbit but that quickly died.

Akito had turned to face Momiji properly, his smirk widening.

"Momiji," the God said taking one menacing step forward after another. The golden haired boy stood his ground, trying to remain calm but couldn't help gulp. Haru was frozen on the floor, watching as Akito picked his way through the mess on the floor and stopped before Momiji.

"You're just in time Momiji. I mean it's not fair if only Haru gets punished is it?"

Suddenly Haru's body decided to work again. Within seconds he had shot across the room, stood between Momiji and Akito, placed both hands on the God's chest and pushed him back as hard as he could, yelling;

"DON'T YOU HURT HIM!! I NEED HIM!!"

Akito fell to the floor, skidded a few feet and stop, he turned to glare up at Haru but stopped at the look in the teen's eyes. They had darkened and narrowed, like they did when Black Haru was out. He decided not to fight back but instead slowly got to his feet, brushed himself off and looked back into the ox's eyes. Without a word Akito passed the two teens, glaring all the way and left the apartment, closing what was left of the door behind him.

Haru sighed, feeling himself calm down, Black Haru being forced back into its cage. He turned to Momiji, intent on seeing that the rabbit was ok but barely had time to open his mouth before…

SMACK!!!  
Momiji's hand collided with Haru's cheek.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?!" Haru yelled, clutching his face, his anger threatening to bubble up again, Black Haru roaring inside of him. Momiji hit him again and again. His punches started out strong and forceful but ended in pathetic slaps to the ox's chest, tears still streaming down his face.

"YOU SAID YOU'D STOP!" Momiji screamed and at Haru's confused look pointed to the drugs littering the floor. "YOU PROMISED ME YOU'D STOP TAKING THEM IF I HELPED YOU!!"

If Haru had felt bad before all of this had happened, he felt a hundred times worse now. The look on the younger teen's face stabbed at his heart. Momiji's eyes had darkened, filled with pain, hate and anger. His pale cheeks were tearstained and want as he continued to cry. Haru wanted nothing more than to pull the younger male into his arms, hold him close and apologies over and over, crying along with him. He reached out a hand to Momiji but had it batted away as the rabbit turned away from him.

"M'iji… M'iji please," Haru took a step forward his hand coming to rest on the rabbit's shoulder, who had his back to him. "I'm trying, M'iji. It's hard but I'm trying. Please M'iji, I need you, I need your help, I need more time."

There was silence for a few minutes during which Momiji thought, making up his already made up mind. There was no way he could leave Haru to deal with this alone.

"Ok," the rabbit said simply, moving out of Haru's grip. The ox watched as the golden haired boy gathered the syringes up, shoved the back into the bag before dumping it into the bin. He turned to face Haru and without saying anything took his hand, leading him to the bedroom.


	6. Chapter 6

My Addiction

Chapter 6

Momiji's caramel eyes opened to be met with the most beautiful sight he had ever seen. Haru was still asleep next to him, a peaceful almost happy look on his face. Their legs were entwined, the ox still holding him close to his chest. Momiji smiled the feel of Haru's warm breath on his face surprisingly pleasant.

Gently, Momiji slipped out of bed, watching as Haru stirred and buried himself further under the covers. Rooting around on the floor, he pulled on Haru's shirt which nearly reached his knees and padded quietly into the living room. He picked up a book from the carnage still on the floor and curled up in a chair, waiting for Haru to wake up.

*****

When the ox woke a few hours later the pleasure and happiness he had felt the night before vanished in second as he realised the bed next to him was cold and empty once again. He reached over and took the pillow, pressing it to his face and breathing in the rabbit's scent that still lingered there, thickly. Tears formed in his eyes as his head was filled with Momiji.

A muffled giggle from the living room caught his attention. Haru threw the pillow away, stood and ran for the door, his heart filling with hope. He felt he could explode with happiness when his gaze landed on the younger male. Momiji was sat sideways in a chair, knees brought up, a book resting against his legs. Haru's shirt looked far too big on him and, in the ox's opinion, covered far too much of the beautiful boy.

Momiji looked up, smiling happily when he saw Haru standing there. "Good morning Haru!" he called cheerfully, going back to his book.

"M-Morning M'iji," Haru replied, glad the rabbit couldn't see his blush. He turned his back and went into the kitchen to make breakfast.

*****

Momiji glanced up over his book and watched Haru's strong back disappear. In truth he hadn't been reading but trying to remember the previous night's activities. He had heard Haru groan as he woke up and knew he would be upset that he had woken alone. He had wanted the ox to know he was still there for him so had pretended to laugh at something he had been reading to get the older teen's attention.

Silently, Momiji slid the book onto the floor, stood and stretched, Haru's shirt riding up to his waist. He crept towards the kitchen, picking his way through the broken bits of glass, wood and other rubbish. He stopped right behind the taller boy, wrapping his arms gently around his waist and nuzzling his face into the ox's back.

Haru jumped slightly when Momiji's arms crept around him but smiled at the feel of the rabbit being so close.

"Haru…" Momiji murmured, voice slightly muffled. His breath ghosted across the ox's back and the black and white haired boy had to suppress a groan and a shudder.

"Yes M'iji?" Haru asked, trying to act calmly and popping a couple of pieces of bread into the toaster.

"I-I've been thinking…" I blush was forming on the rabbit's cheeks and he tried to hide his face further into Haru's back. "I-If this is going to be a long term thing… then… then would it be a good idea if… it I moved in here?"

Haru removed the hands from around his waist and turned, holding the rabbit by the shoulders, looking into his face. He was holding back a smile but deep inside he was grinning like an idiot. Being close to Momiji was the one thing he wanted most and if the golden haired angel before him moved in with him… Life was starting to look a whole lot better.

"Are you sure M'iji?" Haru asked, wanting to make sure that the rabbit was ok with this. "I don't want you to feel forced into doing this. I don't want you doing anything you don't want to do."

Momiji's head lowered and he looked up at Haru though his golden fringe. "I want to Haru. I want to move in with you. I want to help you."

'I want you.'

Haru allowed the grin to spread across his face as he raised Momiji's chin with his finger. "Then I'd love for you to move in with me."

'I love you.'

The couple embraced, feeling closer to each other's hearts than ever.


	7. Chapter 7

My Addiction

Chapter Seven

As a way of saying thank you, Haru took Momiji for dinner at a local, five star restaurant. Seeing as neither of them could drive, they had walked to short distance hand in hand. It was a cold night and they were both wrapped up warm but Momiji couldn't help shiver. Haru shrugged off his coat and helped the rabbit put it on; wrapping an arm around the small boy's waist and holding them close as they walked.

Once inside they took a table near the middle of the room and saw that they were not the only Sohmas there. Yuki and a girl from school were sat in a corner, both eating silently and blushing into their plates. The rat looked up, surprised when he saw Haru and Momiji sat together, gazing at each other. They were holding hands over the table, Haru stroking the bock of Momiji's hand with his thumb. They chatted quietly to each other, cheeks slightly red. It was only when Machi called his name did Yuki realize he had been staring at the pair for a long time. His food had gone cold but he no longer wanted it. He had a sudden urge to go home and have an argument with Kyo. Apologising and excusing himself, Yuki stood and walked over.

"You didn't have to do this Haru," Momiji was saying, enjoying the feel of Haru's smooth skin brushing the back of his hand. Haru smiled, raised Momiji hand to his lips and kissed it tenderly.

"I wanted to M'iji. I want to thank you for everything you've done for me and I promise to try harder from now on."

"Haru? Momiji?"

The pair looked up to find the rat staring down at them, eyes flashing from on to the other.

"Oh! Hello Yuki!" Momiji replied cheerfully. Haru tried to stop himself protectively tightening his grip on the rabbit's hand.

Yuki was still staring at the two of them. "A-are you… Are you two t-together?" The rat stuttered, finding it hard to breathe as images of the cat flashed through his mind. Momiji blushed and turned his gaze to the table. Haru took control of the situation with a simple "Yes" and to make his point clear, cupped the rabbit's chin and kissed him deeply.

It was the first proper kiss Haru had given Momiji and would have been perfect it the kiss had been returned. But the rabbit was so shocked at what was happening he just sat there, wide eyes. As soon as their lips had touched, Yuki had turned and ran, the need to be with Kyo now so strong it threatened to rip his heart out.

A few seconds later, Haru broke the kiss to realize the while restaurant was silent, staring at them. Momiji still hadn't kissed him back as he could hear Black Haru laughing at his stupidity. Depressed and heartbroken, Haru stood, releasing Momiji and left the restaurant to go home and get high.

When Momiji came to his senses he jumped to his feet, ignoring the stares and murmurs and ran after the ox, fearing the worst.

*****

When the young rabbit arrived back at their apartment he was sure the ox wasn't there. The front door was locked and the place was in darkness. He went inside, turning the lights on and found everything as it should be, nothing out of place. Or so he thought.

Something near the sofa caught his eye and, going over to it, Momiji found that two of the floor boards had been ripped up. Dropping to his knees, he reached inside and found it empty.

"Looking for something little bunny?"

Momiji span on his knees to face the bedroom door where Haru was slumped against the frame, staring back at him. The rabbit crawled over to him, staring at shock horror at the puncture marks up and down the ox' arms.

"H-Haru…" Momiji breathed, pushing himself onto his knees and resting a hand on the other's shoulder. "W-Why…?"

Momiji froze at the feel of a hand sneaking up the back of his leg, coming to rest on his backside. It gave a squeeze and Haru turned his face to bury in the crook of the golden haired boy's neck, taking a deep breath in and sighing happily.

"Mmm… You smell good little bunny."

Haru's tongue reached out and licked the pale neck before him, from shoulder to ear. He pulled the delicate earlobe into his mouth and sucked on it while his hand travelled up a smooth, warm back.

Momiji's eyes had widened and he held back a shudder, "H-Haru?" he asked, hoping that this was some terrible nightmare and that he'd wake up any second.

Suddenly Momiji found himself flat in his back, Haru straddling his waist, a hand either side of his head.

"Sorry little bunny," Haru whispered, resting his forehead against Momiji's, staring hard into his eyes, "Doesn't look like you beloved Haru is going to come out any time soon."

Before he could say anything, Momiji found his lips sealed in a bruising kiss. Seconds later his face was pressed into the wooden floor boards, his backside in the air, his jeans tugged down to his knees. Then Black Haru was inside of him, pounding him hard and fast into the floor. Momiji could feel blood leaking down his legs as tears slipped from his eyes. He didn't know how long it was before he lost consciousness.


	8. Chapter 8

My Addiction

Chapter Eight

For some reason when Haru awoke the next morning he couldn't remember anything that had happened the night before. He was led in bed, naked, his arms wrapped tightly around Momiji. The young rabbit was led next to him, fast asleep, curled up and facing the window. A loving smile bloomed across Haru's face and he reached forward to press a kiss to the young rabbit's shoulder. The younger boy in his arms gave a whimper and shivered as Haru's breath ghosted over his skin. Haru's smiled widened and he released his grip on the golden haired angel, slipped out of bed and went to take a shower.

When he stepped out of the hot water a few minutes later he still couldn't remember anything that had happened but, seeing as Momiji was still here, he guessed it couldn't have been bad.

Momiji woke to an unbearable pain all over but he didn't cry out. Slowly he pushed himself into a sitting position, gritting his teeth to keep quiet and screwing his eyes closed to stop the tears falling. When he opened his eyes after the worse of the pain had passed, Momiji found Haru in the doorway of the bathroom, a towel around his waist, water droplets still running down his muscular chest and stomach. Any other time and Momiji would have loved the sight before him but not now. Now he just wanted to get as far away from the ox as possible.

A soft blush spread across Haru's cheeks and he smiled again. He walked forward, crawled onto the bed, reaching forward to kiss the boy before him. Momiji flinched and jumped backwards, falling off of the bed and landing heavily on the floor but sprang to his feet again as a painful stab shot up his spine and he hissed through his teeth.

"Momiji?" Haru asked, worried. He could tell that the rabbit was in pain and now saw, in the dull glow of the morning that Momiji had black bruises around his hips and waist, scratch mark down his chest. Blood covered the inside of his legs and angry red bite marks littered his neck, shoulder and collar bone. Haru's eyes widened as what happened last night finally began to come back to him. "M'iji… Did… Did I…?"

"It doesn't matter," Momiji whispered staring at the floor. Slowly and limping badly, the young rabbit made his way into the bathroom and closed the door.

Haru stood frozen, mouth open in shock, eyes fixed on the spot where the rabbit had been a few seconds earlier. He reached out a shaking hand a yanked the covers back, revealing a large crimson blood stain where Momiji had been led. Tears pricked in his eyes as guilt washed over him.

"Shit…" he muttered, one hand fisting in his hair. "What have I done…?"

'He was good though wasn't he?" Haru heard his inner self murmur, 'Nice warm body, letting you do to him as you wished… You enjoyed it Hatsuharu… I know you enjoyed it.'

"Shut up!" Haru growled back, tugging his jeans back on and grabbing his coat. After scrawling a quick note;

M'iji,

I'll be back as soon as I can.

Please stay here I need to talk to you.

Haru,

the ox ran from the apartment, from the estate and to the nearest jewellery store he could find.

*****

Momiji took his tome in the shower, gently washing the marks Haru had given him in a hope that they might disappear. He watched the blood, his blood, mingle with the water and flow down the drain but he felt no cleaner. He got out, wrapped a towel around himself and wandered back into the bedroom.

*****

Haru ran into the shop, paying no attention to anything but the task in hand and collided with a full length glass cabinet. The manger, a middle aged, balding man, jumped at the noise and looked up, eyes narrowing when he saw the panting, sweaty teenage boy.

"Is there anything I can help you with?" Then manager asked, getting to his feet and walking towards the boy..

Haru froze, trying to think what exactly to get Momiji. "I need something beautiful… something that says "I'm sorry".

The manager nodded. "Very well. Please wait here and I shall see if I can find something for you."

Half the store later, Haru had finally found the perfect present from Momiji. A beautiful, solid gold bracelet with an elegant golden Chain. It was studded with three beautiful cut rubies and hanging off of the chain was a small golden heart. Engraved on the heart, in silver, were three simple yet meaningful words:

"I love you."

The bracelet had been placed on a bed of cotton wool and then in a small red box, all tied together with a golden ribbon. It now rested safely in a red bag that Haru hugged to his chest as he sprinted back home.

Momiji was still there when Haru got back. He was dressed and had stripped the blood stained sheets off of the bed, bunged them into the washing machine and was in the middle of wresting the clean sheets onto the bed when Haru walked through the door. For a few minutes they stood frozen, eyes fixed on each other. Then Momiji dropped his gaze and Haru broke the silence.

"Nothing I say will ever make up for what I've done to you." Momiji remained silent. "But I am sorry M'iji." With a shaking hand, Haru took the bag and placed it on the bed, pushing it towards the rabbit. Dropping the sheet, Momiji took the bag and opened it and the box in turn. A small smile spread across his face as he picked up the bracelet and examined it. Haru watched him nervously.

"It's beautiful Haru," Momiji said, slipping it onto his wrist and fingering the heart.

"I know it nowhere near cover what I've done to you M'iji but I want you to know that I am sorry."

"It's ok," Momiji said simply even though it clearly wasn't. Haru didn't mean any of the things he said. The bracelet was just a way to get him to stay.

"Sometimes I wish I'd never been born." The ox's words broke his train of thought and Momiji finally looked up to see the older teen still watching him. "What with Black Haru and… and the things he does when he takes over." Haru choked back a sob. "He was one of the reasons I started the drugs… I thought it would help me forget about him but… it just made things worse. I couldn't stop. I was addicted to them. I knew they were wrong and that they didn't help but… I just couldn't stop… All this… this mess… this disaster… this is all his fault."

"Every relationship has its problems Haru." The rabbit said, picking up the bed covers at his feet and resuming what he had been doing, "Black Haru's just one of ours."

There was a silence for a few minutes, during which each was lost in their own thoughts. Final Haru asked; "Are we ok now M'iji?" to which Momiji nodded and no more was said on the matter.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

*Two month later*

Things weren't ok. They were anything but ok and they never would be again, no matter how hard both Momiji and Haru tried. Momiji now slept on the sofa; unable to let Haru touch him because whenever he did memories of the night Black Haru raped him came flooding back. Haru hated himself for what he had done and tried everything to make it up to Momiji but nothing worked. Haru had lost the only important thing in his life and it killed him… literally.

One evening he was at their apartment alone. Momiji was at work and wouldn't be back until later. Things had finally become too much for the ox and he couldn't take it any longer. Unaware to the rabbit, the gap under the floor boards had slowly been filling up with syringes but by the time he got home tonight it would once again be empty.

As Haru watched the rabbit leave for work he did all he could to stop himself crying, knowing it would be the last time he ever saw Momiji. Choking back a sob he closed the front door and walked back into the living room and slowly sank down on the sofa. For a long while he just sat there, staring straight ahead as tears of hate (with himself) and pain fell from his dull eyes. Slowly and without think he began to dig his nails into his jean covered knees, teeth gritting as the skin was pierced and blood seeped down his legs. Then, suddenly, he seemed to snap out of his trance, looking up and shaking his head slightly. He withdrew his nails from his skin and stood, walking over to a chest of draws and pulling out a large pad of paper and a pen. He took them both and went back over to the sofa. Sitting, he opened the pad and began to write.

Dearest Momiji

I could never repay you for the selfless love that you gave me.

Know that, for me it wasn't just a way to forget about my addiction. You are my addiction.

I can't live another day knowing I could have lost you by hurting you.

I would rip my heart out and give it to you it to you if I could.

But the most I can do now is remove myself from your life so you can find the person you truly love.

I only wish it could have been me.

By the time the ox had finished giant tear blotches covered the paper and the ink had smudged in some places but the letter itself was perfect. Standing once again, Haru walked to the one place he knew Momiji would go first as soon as he came home. The kitchen. The young rabbit loved to cook and every day as soon as he came home he would go straight into the kitchen to start dinner. Haru placed the folded piece of paper in the centre of the dining room table and spent a long time straightening it, prolonging what he was about to do.

Finally, after Haru could find nothing else to do, he slowly walked back into the living room and pushed the sofa aside. Dropping to his knees, he once again pulled up the loose floorboards and took out the large plastic bag that hid underneath. Placing everything back as it had been, Haru sank down onto the sofa and took out the first of many full syringes.

*****

It was dark outside when Momiji came home from work that night. He silently closed the front door behind him and stretched, yawning. Feeling the wall, he found the light switch and turned it on, blinking as his eyes adjusted. His gaze landed on Haru, led stretched on the sofa and fast asleep. A soft smile came to Momiji lips as he watched the ox. Over the last few weeks he had been trying and succeeding in forgetting what Black Haru had done to him and the strong feelings he had had for Haru beforehand were coming back to him. Not wanting to wake Haru, Momiji tiptoed round the sofa and into the kitchen to start dinner.

Whilst he cooking and singing to himself; the rabbit noticed something out of the corner of his eye. Turning he realised that a sheet of paper, a note lay in the middle of the table. Frowning, Momiji walked over and picked it up. Still singing he read the note. Before he got past the first line he knew something was wrong. The hand writing was strangely familiar and as Momiji continued his singing stopped and a pressure like a fist clamped around his heart. Tears had formed in the corner of his eyes and the second he finished reading he dropped the letter and ran back into the living room.

It was only then that he noticed the empty plastic bag and syringes littering the floor.

"N-No…" He whimpered, moving slowly towards the sofa where Haru still lead, motionless. "No…" he whispered again his gaze landing on the syringe still embedded in Haru's arm. "NO!" he screaming, running to the sofa, gripping the ox and shaking him. "HARU! HARU WAKE UP! HARU NO! PLEASE NO!"

Tears now ran free from Momiji's eyes as he pleaded and begged Haru to wake up. The ox was limped, eyes closed, face pale and no matter what Momiji did to him he wouldn't wake up.

"Haru no… Why?" Momiji managed to say between sobs "Why didn't you say anything? Why have you done this!!! "

Everything became too much for Momiji and he collapsed to his knees, not caring about the needles. Still griping Haru tightly, he buried his face in the sofa and sobbed, confessing everything.

"Why the hell did you have to do this now Haru?! God damn you! Why didn't you tell me anything?! We could have sorted this out! Why?! Why did you go and do this?! I love you!! THAT'S the reason I helped you!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!"

Despite everything Momiji did or said, Haru remained still.


	10. Chapter 10

Last Chapter of My Addiction

The rest of the night past terribly slowly, during which Momiji didn't move from the floor beside his lover, crying his heart out. Finally, what seemed like a lifetime later, the first light of dawn crept in through the living room window and illuminated the tearstained face of a heart broken young teenager, a second male led lifelessly in his lap. Momiji had been holding Haru ever since he had found him unconscious on the sofa. One of his arms was tight but gentle around the ox's shoulders. The other hand was resting lightly on Haru's lower stomach. Haru head was limp against his chest, his skin a deathly pale colour, his loving, warm eyes closed.

As the sunlight hit his eyes, Momiji blink for the first time in hours. His gaze has been glued to a single syringe in the centre of the floor; empty of its vile liquid, the same liquid that had done this to his Haru. Seconds later he regretted blinking. Now his eyes felt heavy with sadness and lack of sleep. He blinked again, hoping it would take the edge of his tiredness but it only made things worse. Sighing loudly, the rabbit lowered his gaze to his lover in his arms. He raised a hand to stroke Haru's cheek, hating how cold it was. But it was soft and familiar; remind him of those nights, the nights when he and Haru would become one, even if it was just to take his mind off of the drugs. But now Momiji would never get to feel Haru inside of him again, never get to know if Haru had meant what he said in his letter. He'd never get to tell Haru that he felt the same way. The thought killed him. He reached down slowly and pressed a kiss to the ox's temple and then…

Haru's body gaze a shudder. Quickly Momiji pulled back, his brown pools widening, his heart filling with hope. His eyes searched his lover's face, praying he wasn't imaging things. For a long time Haru remain still. Then his face screwed up in pain and he moaned loudly, arching his back and burying his face in Momiji's chest. Fresh tears flooded to Momiji's eyes and a smile broke across his face. "H-Haru…" he whispered, cupping Haru's cheek again and holding him close. Haru's deep eyes opened, a hint of their original emotions still gleaming in them. After taking a few deep breaths, during which his sluggish brain caught up with what was happened, Haru whimpered;

"M-M'iji….."

Momiji sung softly to himself as he walked, a small backpack in one hand and a brown paper bag clutched in the other arm. It had been nearly six months since Haru had been taken to the dragon's house, six months since they had declared their feelings for one another in one way or another. Every day of those last six months Momiji had been to see Haru, watching as the older teen got better. Hatori insisted on the ox staying there until he was certain nothing more was wrong. He was also trying to help Haru get off of the drugs (after he had tried to kill himself, the drugs business had spread through the Sohma's like wild fire) but since that day six months ago, Haru hadn't touched the stuff. Now that he had Momiji he didn't need to.

On reaching the front door, Momiji knocked politely and waited patiently for the doctor to answer. Soft footsteps were heard coming towards him and seconds later Hatori's face appeared in the gap as the door was opened. Seeing who it was, the dragon opened the door wider and let the rabbit in. After thanking Hatori, who disappeared into another room, and slipping off his shoe, Momiji padded quietly down the hallway to where his lover's room was. He was no longer singing, but rather humming the tune of the song instead. Three doors down, Momiji stopped. He turned to face the room he had been visiting for the last six months and waited a few moments before walking inside and closing the door behind him.

The bed where the ox had been every day was empty and made. There was a soft thump as the backpack hit the floor and Momiji began to panic. Hatori would have said if something had happened. A soft breeze drew the rabbit's attention and turning he found the window wide open. He ran over to it, the brown bag also falling from his arms, and looked out. He leaned forward, trying to find some sign of Haru but…

"You'll fall out if you're not careful."

Jumping in shock, Momiji spun around to face the armchair that had been placed next to the window. His heart lightened as his gaze fell on his black and white haired lover, grinning in his seat. Haru began to chuckle as the worried look faded from the rabbit's face, soon replaced by one of mock anger. Momiji walked back towards the door, playfully punching the ox's arm as he went. He picked up the bags he had dropped and walked over to the bed.

"No hello?" Haru asked, rubbing his arm where the rabbit had hit him and smiling. His smile widened as he heard Momiji sigh and then footsteps coming back towards him. He closed his eyes and tilted his face up expectantly but only received a kiss to the temple before Momiji went back to unpacking more of the ox's (and his own) things. Frowning, Haru got to his feet and sneakily tiptoed to his golden haired love.

"You should still be resting Haru," Momiji said, folding their clothes out on the bed unaware that his lover was so close. Haru simply rolled his eyes, wrapped his arms around Momiji and pulling him down so they were both led on the bed. Momiji gave a squeak at the sudden movement but gripped a handful of Haru's shirt and snuggled closer, smiling. Haru, also smiling, wrapped his arms protectively around the rabbit's waist and rested his forehead against golden locks. He took a deep breath of the rabbit's scent and sighed happily as Momiji's hands came round to cling to the back of the ox's shirt.

"I was thinking," Haru said after a long period of silence. "Once Hatori deems me fit to leave, I was thinking about getting away from this place for a while, go on holiday somewhere for a few weeks. What do you think M'iji?"

Momiji didn't like the idea of Haru leaving him but it was what the ox wanted. "I think it's a great idea Haru. I'll miss you though."

"Silly," Haru chuckled, pressing a kiss to Momiji's forehead, "What I meant was, would you be willing to come with me?"

The rabbit beamed up and his lover and reached up to press a kiss against the other's lips, clinging tighter to Haru's shirt. "Of course I would!"

Haru grinned and leaned to kiss Momiji properly, cupping the other's smooth cheek with his free hand. Momiji responded by tightening his hold on Haru and kissing back passionately. When the kiss finally broke, Haru reopened his eyes just in time to see Momiji yawn.

"Tired?" He asked, running a hand through the rabbit's hair as he rubbed at his eyes. In reply Momiji yawned again and nodded his head. Haru chuckled, resting his hand on the back of Momiji's head and rest it gently against his chest. Momiji's grip tightened on the back of his shirt, his eyes drooping closed. Within seconds he was asleep, curled safely in his lover's arms.

Haru reached out and took Momiji's hand and held it tightly in his own. Their fingers entwining and, on the same fingers, their matching plain banded silver rings rested against each other. These two rings, though maybe not as expensive or flash as other peoples, meant more to the pair than anything else, save each other. These two rings showed their love for one another, their commitment and promise to be together, not just for the next for months or even years. Forever.


End file.
